The Sales Hacker Podcast
The Sales Hacker Podcast

Episode · 5 months ago

174. Mastering Sales Expression: Use Your Voice to Create Connection w/ Tom Stern


In this episode of the Sales Hacker Podcast, we have Tom Stern, President at Stern Executive Search and author of Fear Less, Sell More. Join us for a fantastic (and humorous) conversation about sales expression, the deliberate use of the voice as an instrument to create human connection.

What You’ll Learn

  1. Voice, tone, and language manipulation techniques
  2. How sales expression relates to human empowerment
  3. Investigating the story you tell about yourself
  4. The role of fear in sales

Show Agenda and Timestamps

  1. About Tom Stern & Stern Executive Search [4:16]
  2. What sales expression means [11:38]
  3. Using mirroring to close a deal [19:51]
  4. Listening, absorbing, synthesizing [26:50]
  5. Paying it forward: shout-outs [31:09]
  6. Sam’s Corner [36:03]

One, two, one, three, three, pay everybody at Sam Jacobs. Welcome to the sales hacker podcast.Today on the show we've got Tom Stern. Tom Is an award winningauthor, Oscar winner. He runs an executive search business. He's a jazzmusician and we go deep on really expression, self expression. He calls it salesexpression, but we talk and he he uses his voice as an instrumentand we go through in practical moments how he does that. He he hasa southern accent, a guy from Texas that he does it's almost like animpressions, but but it really it's towards the purpose of having better sales conversation. So really interesting conversation, really interesting person. Before we get there,let's thank our sponsors. The first is outreach. Outreach has been a longtimesponsor of this podcast. They really have, and what they do is they triplethe productivity of sales teams and empower them to drive predictable and measurable revenuegrowth by prioritizing the right activities and scaling customer engagement with intelligent automation. Outreachmakes customer facing teams more effective and improves visibility to it really drives results we'realso sponsored by pavilion. Pavilion is the key to getting more out of yourcareer. Our private membership connects you with a network of thousands of like mindedpeers and resources across sales, marketing, customer success, finance and more,where you can tap into leadership opportun UNITIES, Professional Development, coaching, schools andcourses and other services made just for high growth leaders like you. Unlockyour professional potential with a pavilion membership. Get started today at Joint PAVILIONCOM.Finally, were brought to you by blue board. Blue Board is the world'sleading experiential sales recognition platform that offers top reps their choice of hand created experiences, from skydiving to court side tickets, Michel and start dining, if fivestar spot scapes, there's something for everybody. For President's Club, Blue Board offersindividual bucket list trips and luxury home goods, from Palaton bikes to swimmingwith whale sharks and Cabbo, Yoga Retreats and bid at chasing the northern lights. Treat your reps like the Rock Stars they are. After they pick theirfavorite experience. Winning reps will partner with a dedicated blueboard concierge will plan alltheir logistics and itinerary, so you don't have to lift a finger. Checkthem out at PODCAST DOT boardcom to get your free demo. And now let'slisten to my conversation with Tom sturn. Everybody, it's Sam Jacobs. Welcometo the salesacker podcast. Today on the show or super excited to have TomStern. Let me tell you a little bit about Tom and I'm sure thisis going to be a fun and lively conversation. This is the bile thatTom gave me, just in case you think I'm being facetious in any way. Tom Stern was the black sheep and a family of lions. Tom's fatherwas one of the founders of cable television and his great grandfather, a prominentphilanthropist, was the CEO and chairman of Sears, Roebuck and company at theturn of the twenty century. As an adhd child with dyslexia, Tom wasunable to live up to those lofty expectations and, as a result, sufferedfrom extreme dream anxiety over time, by developing this creativity as a jazz musician, stand up comedian, writer, producer for HBO and Comic Strip Creator,he found his greatest success in sales, first as a talent agent for celebritycomedians and then as president of his own executive search firm. Leveraging what hecalls sales expression, he has sustained excellence of the business world for over aquarter century. It is Tom's goal to help others achieve success in sales andrealize their dreams by overcoming their fears. Tom, welcome to the show.Sam. Thank you very much and thanks for having me on with the saleshacker your I don't know anything about hacking. I have occasionally, by disgruntled clients, been referred to as a hack, but I don't think that's what thisshows about and I don't think that's what I'm about. Yeah, no, and this show is about practical, actionable insights coupled with, you know, interesting stories about human beings which, hopefully, I'm sure, sounds likefrom the bio that I read you you qualify. Well, I'm transitioning intoa human so by the end of this... I'll be fully Hu. That'sgood. Well, that's very rapid transition. What's your what's the starting point,may I ask? The starting point was about fifteen minutes ago I typemy transformation into the human form for this show. So you should feel veryhonored actually welcome to the species. We are excited to have it. SoI gave your bio and your background. We do want to give you anopportunity to give us the quick over view of your firm. So stern executivesearch sounds, tell us about your business and then I want to dive intoyour background and then learn a lot about sales expression, because I think there'sa lot to learn. You know, I'll try not to emphasize my currentbusiness too much, for only one reason. I don't want this to sound likean infomercial. You know, I'm proud of what I've accomplished. I'vehad help along the way, some great clients who trusted me and a lotof luck and the intersection between my passion and market conditions which were favorable.So happy to discuss it briefly, but I'm really here to get into mypassion for the performance art that is sales. But I started this company almost thirtyyears ago after working in a boiler room, is a contingency recruiter whereI learned my trade and I'm always and hat will always be grateful to HowardHarlow at Princeton corporate consultants forgiving me that opportunity and I got very lucky.I pleased an important person at what was then price waterhouse before the acquisition andmerger with coopers and library, and so they came to me and said wereally want to use you a lot and I went out on my own andI really didn't know what I was doing. I was working out of my house. I would be on the phone with candidates talking about stern executive searchinternational while my dog was barking in the background. So you know you're aheadof your time. That's what everybody was doing over like yeah, right,and I used to say as a job. I'm sorry, I just promoted himto senior vice president. Very excited. Let me just give him some kibbleand gone down. So you know, I was in this tiny little officethat was like seven feet by nine feet in our tiny home, butI was wailing on the phone. I knew this was my shot and ifI could make it happen I could really build some wealth and a sense ofpride maybe that I'd never had in my whole life. So I created thisbusiness by serving professional services, which is essentially consulting, and there were anumber of things I did to leverage my business because I was essentially alone,although I had help from researchers and I have a terrific research department right now. So what I did was I've a I took the risk of being big, of being important. I had to do that because I had to standout. So I was a little more pronounced than I am today, alittle more braggadocious than I am today. But you know what, I lookback at that guy and I say, God bless you, I don't knowif I could do it today what he did. I took that chance andI wailed like a jazz musician given a solo after waiting for his whole career, and I made the best of it. I was given a lot of opportunitybecause there was suddenly massive growth and we had a lot of fun.I mean, I'll tell you a quick story. You know, in thosedays there was no linked in and there was no sourcing technology. So thatwas an advantage for me because of having my acting training and my vocal training. I created these characters and I would recruit candidates, since we didn't againhave social media by using characters that I created in a full research department andI found there were certain voices that cut people to open up and give meinformation. So it was really a fun time and not necessarily the most ethicaltime. I didn't break any laws, but I was, you know,on the phone is Robert Blaine going hello,...

...if you forgive me, please,I'm in an apple. Wan't about to go to mass and Beek.My computer is own with Brits and I suppose to some of the new companymust have been six months ago to quality function deployment conference and I can't remembertheir name. And I know you busy and I don't need to be abit, but if you could look through all the names within that to popand they tell them to me, I know the second I hear it itwill ring a bell and then they would go through the names and each oneI would go narrow and I would write it down. Nore Hmm, soundsfamiliar, but not him. And that's how I would mind companies for information. This was all with the receptionist or the person that or send the phoneas your assistance. None of this would be possible today and I created acharacter for manufacturing new mode. Jumis wild low from Austin Texas, and youknow he just talked to manufacturing people out of it. And I just needyour help and I'm embarrassed that I can't fully, you know, bring whatI need to to the tellable and I you know, and it was alot of fun. Did anybody ever figure out that you were doing an accentor was it always solutely not? They would even imagine that. You know. I mean I'm being playful now. I was really focused. What wasfun is I would put people on hold in like I go. You know, they's a really good point. Could you just hope for one second andthen I'd be like hold on, go hi, Tom Sara, and howcan I help? I almost screwed that up once or twice, but now. So it was a lot of fun for me as a frustrated performer.But the way, that's maybe relevant today. So anyway, a bottle line aboutthe company. I've been in the top one percent for twenty five years. I have no reason to explain it. I'm ferocious and I'm passionate, I'mreasonably intelligent and I'm very good on the phone, but I you know, in deconstructing it for my book, fearless so more. That was myplug. You know, I discovered that it was this creative impulse, thissensitivity to vocal intonation, this capacity to use my imagination and think what Isay collaterally associatively, that allowed me to, you know, perform at a very, very high level. And so I'd placed vice chairman's and chairman's peoplemaking three million dollars. I've had, you know, big, big feesand big, big ears and they've been great. They've also post problems becauseI became a complete work a Hollic, eventually a ground down my first marriage. It's not all my fault, but my partner was being a workaholic.So some of what I even talk about is finding, let us say,more fun ways to do the job and to let go. It's not justthe fear that holds us back from being successful in sales, but the fearcan go into overdrive and actually ruin our personal lives. So it's about balance, it's about success, it's about expressing your abilities and I've been very lucky. And now you know, I'm sixty six years old and a week andI'm not ready for the don't sound sixty six. Well, I look likea hundred and six. So I'm glad this is on the audience from yourearly years as a jazz musician and stand up comedian, I suppose so.Anyway, the point is that I'm having a lot of fun, still doingsearch aggressively and have some wonderful clients, but I really thought this is thetime to give back and share my experience and get to know people and answerquestions. So I could go on and on about my business bragging, butyou got the idea. I was lucky. It was pretty talented. Turns outI had some additional elements that coalesced to make me very successful and highlycompetitive, and I'd love to dive into those. And I hope that wasn'ttoo long winded, but that's my answer. Well, you're allowed to be longwinded when you're the guest. If you're the host, I might quibble, but you're the guest, so we want you to be long winded.So let's dive into, as you call it, sales expression, and reallythe power of expressing yourself, because I think it let's make sure that weget those ideas out to the audience while we've got you on the line,tell us what you mean when you talk about sales expression, why it's sopowerful and how we can begin to sort...

...of emulate embody learn whatever the frameworkis that that you want to articulate. Great question, and very well articulated, I might add, by the way, you have terrific expressiveness and at somepoint we could talk about why. I think you're probably a fantastic hostand appear to be. No, I mean that flattery will get you everywhere. Oh, it's not flattery. I'm in the business of assessing vocal expression, at who the person is and how I sense who they are. Youruse of language, your tone, your conviviality. There're a couple of thingsthat you've got going for you. Let me use an example of a salesexpression, which is really intentional communication. Want not to use this interview.I made a choice. It's not conscious. I want to make friends with youraudience. I want to find a middle ground between establishing credibility by demonstrating, through example and stories and my own confidence, that I'm highly successful,because otherwise I don't think they're really going to care and want to listen tome. Yet I want to find a tone that's approachable, hopefully not egotistical, and maybe even a little bit humble or vulnerable about my success, grateful, recognizing it's not all about me. So, not consciously, but whenI just spoke about my business, I did a number of things to talkabout luck, I try to express it in a particular tone. I meanI didn't you know by comparison. You didn't say tell me about Your Businessand I didn't go. Well, okay, if you really want to know,I'm probably as good a recruiter as there is in the world. Nobodycan do what I do. I'm really straight. I didn't talk that wayand of course that would be foolish, but part of it is I givemyself an intention make friends with the audience. Express who you are, but doit with gratitude and humility, and that intention informs everything that I say. And there are a million different intentions and they can move from moment tomoment in a conversation. You can be talking to and for purposes of salesdiscussion, a prospect and suddenly you sense them tighten. If you're with themin person, it's physical, if you're on the phone it's vocal. Theretheir voice pulls back. They suddenly get quiet in a way that's anxious provoking. And how do you adjust? And that moment some of its intuitive.Do you start asking questions? Do you blow by it and acts like it'snot a big deal? Do you start getting do you alter your voice?It's like the combination to a safe. You have to be constantly looking forthe numbers that will open the door to the money and the opportunity inside,and that comes from changing your voice, as I am now, because I'mtalking about the secret and I'm conveying the safe and the money and the imageand the mystery of it all, the mystery of those combinations, and somy voice begins to reflect that. Now part of though all of this,and it can sound Hokey when I break it down and I'm self conscious andgo into a kind of Meta view of it, but you're really you're acommunicator and you're an entertainer. Give Yourself, any salesperson, the freedom to reallybe expressive. I'm doing it in vocal ways, but it has todo with your intentions and it has to do with how you project who youare moment to moment. How do people practice this? Or you know asthere are there some exercises people can do. Is it? I guess I havea few thoughts questions. What is is it about removing artifice and justsort of trying to bring to the surface your purest identity? Is it aboutgetting in specific types of habits? And I guess the final kind of commentsquestion is sometimes people are so hyper aware,...

...almost insecure about people's reactions to themthat maybe they sense a change in tonality that actually isn't there. Maybethey overreact. So I guess the broadest question is what's the way to practiceand embody this act of self expression through the context of sales such that itcan be effective and people can get better at it? You're fantastic at askingquestions. The only problem is there were like three hundred. Yeah, thereare any I always ask too many questions and learned. We've only got seventeenminutes left, but here's my next question since the beginning of time. Yeah, but those are great questions. Well, one way you could practice is bydoing tape recordings. Now it's a little painful because I'll be honest,I love the sound of my own voice. I always have. I actually hada teacher say to me once who was really annoyed with me. Youknow, Tom you really love the sound of your own voice, and Isaid, you know, I really do. I love the resonance that Tomber Ilove the way I can shift from Baritone to tenor. I enjoy thewarmth and sometimes harshness, and I went on and on for like three minutestill he threw me out of the room. But the thing is, when Ihear my voice recorded, I go that's what you think is so terrific. So you some a lot of people. You'll have to get over the selfconsciousness, but you can experiment with it as if there were octaves ona piano. So you can, you can give yourself challenges. What's myvoice of authority? Is it? Look, you know I've been monking around withyou and I'm going to tell you what you need to do. We'veknown each other ten years and I have a very strong point of view,is it? That's an interesting point. My experience is actually country durry.What I'd like to talk about now is some of the statistical underpinnings which willin fact demonstrate that my position has not only veracity but sustainability over time.Is that what it is and you can experiment and maybe there are four orfive different voices, depending upon remember, this is a dialectic it's reciprocal,it's a loop. You are not only expressing yourself, you are reading andembracing and receiving what's being expressed to you, and that's part of the surfing thewave, the moment to moment reactivity. So, to answer your question,recording your voice is terrific. Also, sometimes listening to your voice, tryingto sense it over time it'll be like the gears in a car.You know, when you first get a clutch, which is a fun wayto drive, it can be challenging. After a while you don't even thinkabout moving those gears. It's the same with the human voice. I founda gear in the last few months which is and I drop down and Isay, Sam, that's a really good point and I really believe that whatI'm doing is important and I drop down. Now it's not about artifice. IfI really believe it. If I don't believe it and it's fake,that's terrible. So you want to express what you really feel. The issueis not to create false intention. The issue is to develop your instrument,as a violinist would try to achieve acquiring a strata areas, or a musiciantunes their guitar. You want to be so finely tuned that your voice,your body, your mind and your emotions all work together to support that intention. And sometimes it doesn't work that way. A lot of people's voices go up, a lot of people stay in a very narrow range and you askthem how is the call? Oh, I was really dynamic, I didthis, I did that, and it's all in their imagination, in theiralternate universe. Is it about mirroring or is there a particular kind of internalityor intonation that you find particularly effective, maybe like closing the deal? Isthere a specific way that listeners can the... on my sins at the endof the sales process? Now I understand and I guess it's hard to dothis in thirty five minutes. It's a Fivehour workshop, which will put chargea lot of money for it. But or enough. I was going tosay. I'm happy to do my best because they're great questions. It's notjust modeling, I think that was the term used, or mirroring. Yeah, mirroring because you also want to lead. Sometimes mirroring is where you create aconnection so that you can lead and take that person who's now connected withyou to places they wouldn't go. You don't just model the voice, youmodel what I call personification. I'm just going to use you as an examplereal time and you can go okay, sucking up to me, Sam.I don't suck up to people did years ago constantly. I don't have to, I don't care to. Let's talk about you for one second. I'mactually not vocally modeling with you. My voice is very different. I'm projectingmore energy than you are. I'm louder, I think. But what I'm modelingwith you is your intellect, the quality of your questions, the fluidityof your speech, your mastery of language, your vocabulary, the sequencing of thewords shows to me high cognitive activity, real curiosity. So you're highly inquisitive, you're very poised. Your Ego may be there, but you're reallyin this process and you're exploring it the way somebody who's confident in their intellectand has a high appetite to acquire information would. So what have I done? Well, I'm not as canned as I sometimes can be in these interviewsI'm being much more spontaneous. I'm trying to delve into my own thought processes. I'm really trying to answer you. So I'm modeling the spirit of you, not the voice of you, and that's where your imagination and your emotionsand your sensing happens. It's called, you know, building affiliation. It'show we create contact, how we create comfort. But we're all expressing yousay, and you express a very particular kind of urbanity. But I couldsee you in blue jeans and a flannel shirt. So I don't know whereyou went to school. I would assume you do reading or you assiduously listento people and really question things. You're highly analytic. See everything I'm doingright now, by the way, is another great sales mechanism. I'm doingit here to prove a point, which is not only can you sense peopleand read them, but when you get good at it, you can tellthem what you see, and that's a very powerful thing. That busts upthe whole subtlety of I'm mirroring you to say I see you, this iswho I see, and if you get good at this, you'll be accurateabout ninety nine percent of the time because their ways to bifurcated. I meaneverything I said about you. I believe based on what I saw. Ibet you I'm reasonably accurate. I'd be very surprised if you're egotistical. I'dbe extremely surprised if you were uneducated. There are a couple of basic thingsthat are so obvious about you that I lead with them, because then thechances that I'm inaccurate are so slim. So I pick low hanging fruit.I make a quick, rapidfire decisions about your characteristics, I draw a conclusionby layering them all together, and then I have a picture of you andI reflect it back to you and define it for you. And when peoplefeel seen, that's really powerful, and then you can build trust and thenrefer back to it later. I know I'm rambling and but let me tryto give you an example. Sometimes you can do it in mood and spirit, which is, I don't know, for some reason I feel like veryaware of your mood and spirit, which is probably why you're very good atthis job. You can do it with content that you've gathered and made asupposition about, a decision about who that person is. I once had avery powerful candidate who had been it was...

...a genius and got to high schooland did all the bullies homework and was in a crappy school, then wentto Harvard, Mit Mackenzie krem Della Creme resume. I had him down betweenmy company, accenture, and another midsize company and I was sweating in myboots because it was a big fee, one of the first big ones Iever made in my new company, and I said to him, how wouldyou compare them? And he said, well, accenter, then Anderson Consulting. He said it's Monolithic. It's an endless skyscraper with opportunity and resources.So I was feeling good. But then he said I said, what aboutthe other company? Said well, they're small, but you know, they'revery collect collegial and a lot of times I feel like I'm the smartest personin the room. And that's where I took out the Arrow from earlier informationand I shot it right into a subconscious and I said yes, it isfun and rewarding sometimes to feel like you're the smartest person in the room butyou don't want to do their homework. And I correlated a potential positive toa negative from his history. That demonstrated that I had listened to him,I had formulated opinion about his psychology and I had tied that to a currentevent that was part of his decisionmaking. When I saw the look in hiseye when he was like boing, I don't want to do their homework,which was a way of saying you don't want to have to carry these people, you don't want to be the smartest person in the room. In alot of situations you may even have to be burdened because you're constantly buttressing them. And when I painted it with that one statement, correlated it to hisearlier life. It was over. He was going to take the job atthe place I was going to make my feet and not the other place whereI was going to make zero. So that's another example of using psychology,listening to content and putting together a profile of someone based on what they've expressed. You now I'm doing these in thumbnail sketches because we don't have time.There were so many other things I learned about him, but allowed that momentto foment and come to the surface and allowed me to leverage it too powerful. It really is a powerful example. Do you feel like the biggest?I mean what I'm taking from this and, by the way, thank you forall the flattering words. I think we're going to have you back everyweek now tom so I would appreciate. Can we do twice a week?Sham I really did to you like he really did. I mean that's thetechnique too, because I'd not only did I feel seeing, but I feltlike you know, I mean people like caring compliments. I always say flatterywill get you ever, and I people thinking I really meant it it.You've got to mean it. I mean, Gosh again, an artifice is bad. Find the things you mean. Don't make up stuff you think.The biggest mistake people make is just not listening, in a way, notperceiving, being too much in their own head and to two inward looking,because a lot of what you're saying, a lot of these it's all.It's really about your ability to be still and to listen and to absorb andsynthesize, and you can only do that if you're not the one talking andyou're not thinking about yourself, you're looking and observing somebody else. I've hada lot of success and I've done a lot of talking. So I thinklistening is critical. Every book will tell you that. Common Sense tells youthat, but synthesizing is critical. Looking inward, it's all how you definethese things. Let me make it simple. Fear is the enemy. Fear willtake the best intention and turn it into a landmine. Fear will takeintrospection meant to understand yourself and your intentions and turn it into self doubt oreven, at worst, grandiosity. So it's really trackling your fears. Andlet me address that, because it's just hard for me to sum up thisbook in this talk. I'm doing my best. Understand your story. SeeYourself. You know, this is all...

...about vision, clarity, understanding,sagacity, wisdom. You know. See yourself another exercise I have. It'skind of like recording your own voice. Go through your life story, findthe moments where you weakened and were overwhelmed with terror, find the moments whereyou found courage and you had grit, and begin to identify where you areambidextrous and really balanced, where you are over reliant on one side of yourbody and where you're paralyzed. And what are the roots? What is touse a fancy word, because you know you've gotten my competitiveness up with yourmastery of the language. Where's the ideology, the causation of these personal characteristics?And you know when you begin to understand yourself, you begin to identify, you don't have to go to a psychoanalyst write the story of Your Life, and you don't have to make it a hundred pages. Pick these criticalfulcrums, these moments, forks in the road. I could do tell andwe don't have trust when we don't have time. I've done it with myown life. I found my heart. I know where my courage is.I also know where I completely cheated myself, I betrayed myself, I was cowardly, I lost all strength. I've had both of those coexist at differenttimes and sometimes oscillate from one to the other. Sometimes there were periods inmy life dominated by cowardice and other times by great courage. Why? Whatwas it? Where are those points? Because when you find your courage,you have the strength to be inquisitive and curious and give up control, andthat's what creates listening and that's what creates expression, because you value yourself.You have the self esteem of having faced your challenges and having leveraged your strengthsand your courage, and that brings with it freedom and expression and the abilityto see others because you value yourself and you're not consumed by self doubt.Well, wow, that's a lot wise words, wise words. I don'thave more to say about it other than that. I mean that is thatcertainly the journey I've been on over the last couple of years is and fearis the fears, the great black force and all of our lives. Soit is one thing I'd like to say because it's you really can't obliterate fear. First of all, it's built into our nervous system, from our Amigulaand the Reptilian brain all the way down to our adrenal glands. The wholemetabolic chain is designed to create adrenaline and cortisolve for fight or flight when you'rein jeopardy. The problem is we have an unconscious mind, we have TRAUMAS, we have triggers that will engage the neural pathways and, you know,all of those hormonal elements and create a nonstop, reflexive trigger of fear.And what I like to say is fear may never sleep, but we canhave it. Take a nap, and that's my goal, is to haveus all take naps, have juice, some cookies and eventually regress back tothe womb. Good luck for Tom Almost we're about out of time. Thelast part of the conversation is paying it forward a little bit and figuring outpeople that you think we should know about that have been particularly influential in yourlife. Maybe books besides the book that you've written, fearless, sell more. Everybody go to Amazon and buy it, but books that you think have hada big impact on you, ideas, however you want to interpret it,it's just people or ideas or things that you think we should know aboutthat help form you, that can lead a bread crumb trail back to youknow, who is Tom Stern and what inspired him and created him. Sowhen I frame it like that, which is intentionally quite expansively, what comesto mind? Well, you know, I'll give you two examples that cometo mind. One is random. When I was in my s, Iwas a very hyperactive, very volatile person,...

...very immature, and I went togo swimming and I was in a hurry and this woman who had thelane kept swimming and swimming. The others had just started. She seemed tobe going forever. I finally screamed in the gym and this indoor pool,are you ever effing going to be done, and reverberated in the linoleum of theindoor pool and she popped up and turned to me and said with realkindness, the stress is really bad, isn't it? That moment has neverleft me because I spent a lot of time when I was younger overwhelming peoplewith allowed voice, with my energy. I'm not going to say I wasa bully, but I could be obnoxious and this woman, in a kindof Jiu Jitsu move of kindness and solidity and poise, diffused me completely.I was completely as totally embarrassed by my behavior. I slinked away but neverforgotten that moment. So kindness and the capacity to empathize is probably the mostpowerful tool we have as human beings to create a connection and get our pointacross. So that's that's one. And then the other would be my sister, who I don't want to reveal too much, but she's had some significanthealth challenges in the specially in the last few years. Surgeries and very difficultthings and she has to take a lot of medicines and she struggles every day. She and I have been involved, and when I say I ninety eightpercent her to present me as an advisor in a project to help kids whohave dyslexy and Adhd be educated in public schools and elsewhere through content, andit's called devil and she's never given up. Over twelve years we did a projecttogether, that one an academy award called the Moon in the sun.I wrote the final draft and she produced it and this was our next projectand it started twelve years ago. She is never given up. She hasfought through these illnesses. He has had a passion to help children and nowfinally she got in a strategic partner was very well known and now she's finallygot a significant contract and this content is going to be disseminated. I've watchedher never give up, have incredible passion, have disappointments, but she had avision and in need and a belief in something. If you can havethat as a salesperson and believe that this is an incredibly important job that theeconomy survives on, that you bring value and that you're not going to beturned away and you're not going to give up on yourself and you're going tofight for your future and for your value. You cannot be stopped as long asyou do the basics. The degree of your success may vary, buta feeling of the success and real achievements and whatever the continuum is, ofyour particular potential, that is certain. So never give up, never giveup. Always keep pursuing your passion. I love it, Tom If folksare out there and they're interested in connecting with you, are you open tothat? Do you have a preferred method of communication? If so, absolutely. Let's see, I guess for the moment. Well, first of all, please go to my website, Tom Stern Central. That has all thedifferent things I've done. I'm proud of it. It tells about the bookand the Academy Award Process and the Strip and the radio shows and all thesedifferent things, and you can also write me an email at Tom at Sternexactcom, St Ern x seccom. I'm available to coach if I have time. I'll certainly spend a few minutes at least try to be helpful, andI'm available to be encouraging and to advise and champion. Awesome Tom thanks somuch for being on the show and we'll talk to you on Friday for Fridayfundamentals. Terrific and I look forward to my two appearances next week. Thankyou very much. Sounds good. Everybody.

Sam Jacob Sam's corner. Really enjoyedthat conversation with Tom Stern. Obviously fascinating person, obviously fun to hearsomebody manipulate and use their voice and their expression and their tone and their languageto navigate a conversation, particularly a sales conversation. Of course it's always funfor me to be so richly complimented. So thank you, Tom for allof those nice words. And it's also just interesting that a lot of theideas that Tom expresses aren't really specific to sales. There about human actualization,human empowerment, your ability to achieve your potential, which, of course,you know I found it a company based entirely on that premise. And oneof the things that Tom mentioned is fear, the the omnique presence of fear andhow it drives so much of our decision making and if we can finda way to give fear and nap as Tom puts it, and to letgo of our fear. Then we can move into a ze own and astate where we have the ability to perceive more of the world, where wecan move outside of ourselves, where we can be truly empathetic and truly compassionatebecause we've let go of all of those things that navigate and dictate our internalpersonal narrative. So I think that's a it's a really interesting concept. Youknow, one of the ways that you can work on that is through meditation, transcendental meditation as they say. I try to do it every day,most days I do, and it's really about letting go. It's not aboutnot having thoughts, it's about letting go so that the thoughts are not whoyou are, they are just part of the transom of your mind. There'sanother book that's really interesting to read about this topic, called the untethered soul. I read that earlier this year and just very, very powerful in termsof understanding or rethinking consciousness and how we exist and what our stories are aboutourselves. So this is a much, much longer conversation potentially, and likelyone that I shouldn't have with myself, which I'm doing right now. Butthe point is tone of voice and the ways that you bring yourself into everyinteraction, whether it's on the phone or in person or over resumed all matter. Be Intentional about it, be specific about what you're trying to accomplish,and then you know that the broader journey about becoming your best self. Butthat is a lifetime's worth of work, but it's starts with maybe rethinking certainassumptions you have about who you are, what you are and may be aboutdreaming bigger for yourself, but also being compassionate both to yourself into others andseeing if you can let go of fear. Fear of asking the question, fearof being perceived a certain way, fear of looking like a failure,of fear of being abandoned. Abandonment is one of my fears, rejection andabandonment. So anyway, it is a good conversation. Sparked some thought.That's what we want from these conversations. Now, before we go, wewant to thank our sponsors. We have three sponsors. The first is outreach. outreaches empowering the productivity of sales teams all over the world, driving predictableand measurable revenet growth good. I reach you to learn more. We're alsosponsored by pavilion, a transformational gathering place for high growth leaders like you,just like you and your team's go to join pavilioncom to learn more. Doesn'tmatter what function you are. We've got communities for sales, marketing, customersuccess, finance and more soon to come. And of course, we're brought toyou by blue board, because, you know what, cash bonuses aren'tthat inspiring, they're not that interesting. What we want our rich experiences inblue board is the world's leading experiential sales recognition platform. Everything from going todinner at French laundry to jumping out of an airplane to watching Kevin Durant makea free throw from courtside tickets. All of it's possible with Blue Board.Go to podcast up blueboardcom to get your free demo. I will talk toyou next time, my friends,.

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